Who is Robert Bruno?
After witnessing a great 2-1 U20s win and a bizarre 3-3 First Grade draw away to UNSW on Sunday, Tigers fans had two questions on their minds… Firstly, what have you done with my Balmain First Grade team? And just who is Robert Bruno?
We’ll find answers to those questions later, but first we must review another solid victory for Ivan and Leo’s Under 20s. They triumphed on Sunday 2-1 over a useful UNSW side, having fallen behind as early as the 15th minute. After getting it back to 1-1, Balmain worked hard and-… ahhh what am I doing? Why don’t I just call Ivan and get the real info…
(Ring… Ring…)
Jackson: “Ivan, it’s Jackson. Tell me about the game on Sunday.”
Ivan: “We smashed them with smashing goals. They didn’t have chances, basically it was all us. We could have gone on a bit more and won by a bigger margin. Nevertheless that win was pretty sweet.”
Jackson: “What happened on the second goal?”
Ivan: “A well taken shot from Dane based on a counter that surprised the Uni. Really a masterful finish on the second goal. Then Jun missed a sitter.”
Jackson: “Thanks Ivan.”
Ivan: “Do you want to buy some guns? AK47s, Bazookas. I have them all.”
Jackson: “No thanks, see you at training.”
So a 2-1 win for Under 20s then. Stonking effort lads! Mid-table magnificence here we come!
I failed to ask Ivan about the first goal for a reason: it is my segue into the First Grade tussle. (Who needs a linear narrative anyway?)
The Under 20s’ first goal was a direct free-kick scored some 105 (okay 35) metres from goal. Hit clean and true, with enough power to reject the advances of the goalkeeper’s outstretched palm, the strike was brutal. The strike was made by one Robert Bruno.
The very same Robert Bruno who engineered an unlikely and utterly unstructured comeback in First Grade. The very same Robert Bruno who has been swanning his way around Las Vegas casinos for the last couple of months. But, no, not the same Robert Bruno who lives in a steel house.
First grade comeback you say? Well, yes. As ugly a performance as it was, Balmain scraped home an undeserved point, 3-3 against an ordinary UNSW side. Heck the Tigers should have had all three points. But after a dismal first half that sent Balmain to the sheds at 0-3 – half the number of goals Balmain had conceded in EIGHT PREVIOUS GAMES, a point was the most the side deserved.
What happened in that first half? Well, where do we begin… Maybe with less marking than an unemployed teacher. More air swings than the mind of a child of low socio-economic status (but with a rich imagination). All round, an absolute zero in every category – except of course own goals. It was the worst of the worst for the woeful Tigers.
But then something happened. Jem bundled home a cross. Robert Bruno bundled home a cross. Then Robbie smacked one cleanly from the edge of the area. It was 3-3 as UNSW rolled over.
There was still time for a Tiger goal to be wrongly disallowed, and Jake Flower to have a header acrobatically saved. 3-3 it finished, one of the strangest games you will ever see.
But what about Bruno eh? Three goals on the day, all three of them critical. Has there even been a performance like it? Then throw in the fact that the man was making his First Grade Balmain debut (unless I am mistaken) and things get, as reality television contestants say, surreal.
Next up it’s Schofields. Who knows what might happen.
