Archives

Who is Robert Bruno?

» Posted by Jackson on 19-May-09

After witnessing a great 2-1 U20s win and a bizarre 3-3 First Grade draw away to UNSW on Sunday, Tigers fans had two questions on their minds... Firstly, what have you done with my Balmain First Grade team? And just who is Robert Bruno?

We'll find answers to those questions later, but first we must review another solid victory for Ivan and Leo's Under 20s. They triumphed on Sunday 2-1 over a useful UNSW side, having fallen behind as early as the 15th minute. After getting it back to 1-1, Balmain worked hard and-... ahhh what am I doing? Why don't I just call Ivan and get the real info...
(Ring... Ring...)
Jackson: "Ivan, it's Jackson. Tell me about the game on Sunday."
Ivan: "We smashed them with smashing goals. They didn't have chances, basically it was all us. We could have gone on a bit more and won by a bigger margin. Nevertheless that win was pretty sweet."
Jackson: "What happened on the second goal?"
Ivan: "A well taken shot from Dane based on a counter that surprised the Uni. Really a masterful finish on the second goal. Then Jun missed a sitter."
Jackson: "Thanks Ivan."
Ivan: "Do you want to buy some guns? AK47s, Bazookas. I have them all."
Jackson: "No thanks, see you at training."

So a 2-1 win for Under 20s then. Stonking effort lads! Mid-table magnificence here we come!

I failed to ask Ivan about the first goal for a reason: it is my segue into the First Grade tussle. (Who needs a linear narrative anyway?)

The Under 20s' first goal was a direct free-kick scored some 105 (okay 35) metres from goal. Hit clean and true, with enough power to reject the advances of the goalkeeper's outstretched palm, the strike was brutal. The strike was made by one Robert Bruno.

The very same Robert Bruno who engineered an unlikely and utterly unstructured comeback in First Grade. The very same Robert Bruno who has been swanning his way around Las Vegas casinos for the last couple of months. But, no, not the same Robert Bruno who lives in a steel house.

First grade comeback you say? Well, yes. As ugly a performance as it was, Balmain scraped home an undeserved point, 3-3 against an ordinary UNSW side. Heck the Tigers should have had all three points. But after a dismal first half that sent Balmain to the sheds at 0-3 - half the number of goals Balmain had conceded in EIGHT PREVIOUS GAMES, a point was the most the side deserved.

What happened in that first half? Well, where do we begin... Maybe with less marking than an unemployed teacher. More air swings than the mind of a child of low socio-economic status (but with a rich imagination). All round, an absolute zero in every category - except of course own goals. It was the worst of the worst for the woeful Tigers.

But then something happened. Jem bundled home a cross. Robert Bruno bundled home a cross. Then Robbie smacked one cleanly from the edge of the area. It was 3-3 as UNSW rolled over.

There was still time for a Tiger goal to be wrongly disallowed, and Jake Flower to have a header acrobatically saved. 3-3 it finished, one of the strangest games you will ever see.

But what about Bruno eh? Three goals on the day, all three of them critical. Has there even been a performance like it? Then throw in the fact that the man was making his First Grade Balmain debut (unless I am mistaken) and things get, as reality television contestants say, surreal.

Next up it's Schofields. Who knows what might happen.

Comments

  Posted by Spud at 10:45 AM on 20-May-09

I've been waiting for this report, just so i could say...

Rob Bruno .. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

You didn't mention that the Balmain James Bond went skydiving in the morning before the game. The legend grows.

  Posted by Macca at 01:00 PM on 20-May-09

Some say is he was found in a strange glowing pod recovered from a crater on Exmoor and that he can turn milk to cheese just by glaring at it!

Some say that he was the original Teletubby and that that he has been banned from every country, including Mars, for scoring too many goals!

All we know is he's called 'The Bruno'!!

  Posted by LOKO at 02:11 PM on 20-May-09

Bruno's Home of Drohobycz...

Short story...:

Drohobych probably existed in the Kievan Rus' period while there are only legendary accounts of that.

According to one legend there was a settlement, called Bych, of the salt-traders. When Bych was destroyed in the Cumans raid, the survivors rebuilt the settlement at the nearby location under the current name which means the Second or Another Bych. In the time of the Kievan Rus the Tustan fortress was built near Drohobych. However, scholars view this legend with skepticism, pointing out that Drohobych is a Polish pronunciation of Dorogobuzh, a common East Slavic toponym applied to three different towns of Kievan Rus.

The city was first mentioned in 1387 in the municipal records of Lvov in connection with some Martin (or Marcin) of Drohobych. Also, the chronicler's "List of all Ruthenian cities, the further and the near ones" in Voskresensky Chronicle (dated 1377-1382) mentions Drugabets' among other cities in Volhynia that existed at the time such as Cholm, Lviv the Great.

In 1392 Jogaila ordered a construction of the first Latin Catholic cathedral (Koscol) using the foundations of old Ruthenian buildings that existed prior to that. In the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, the city was the center of large rural starostvo (county at Ruthenian Voivodeship). Drohobych received the Magdeburg rights some time in the 15th century (sources differ as to an exact year and some give 1422, 1460, or 1496 but in 1506 the right were confirmed by the king Alexander the Jagiellonian). In the 14th-16th centuries the city was a home of significant salt industry. From the early-17th century, the Ukrainian Catholic brotherhood existed in the city,

In 1648, during the Khmelnytsky Uprising, the Cossacks stormed the city and its cathedral. Most of the local Poles, as well as the Uniates and the Jews, were murdered at the time, while some managed to survive in the Bell tower not taken in the raid.

The 1772 partition of Poland gave the city to Austria. As the significant oil resources were discovered in the area, the city became an important center of the oil and natural gas industries.

Following World War I, the area became part of Poland. In 1928 the Ukrainian private gymnasium opened in the center of the city and is currently operational.

In September, 1939, the city was attached to Soviet Ukraine when the territory of the interwar Poland was divided between the Nazi Germany and the USSR. In Ukraine Drohobych became a center of the Drohobych Oblast (province). In early July, 1941, during the first weeks of the Nazi invasion of the USSR, the city was occupied by the Nazi Germany. As Drohobych had a significant Jewish population, the city became a site of the large ghetto which the Nazis liquidated in June 1943. On August 6, 1944, Drohobych was liberated from the Nazi occupation by the forces of the 4th Ukrainian front. Following the war, the city remained an oblast center until the Drohobych Oblast was into Lviv Oblast in 1959.

In Soviet times, Drohobych became an important industrial center in Western Ukraine with highly developed oil-refining industry, machine building, woodworking industry, light industry, and food industry. Shocked

  Posted by MrX at 02:17 PM on 20-May-09

Some say leave the jokes to X and concentrate on results. We have finally identified a player who can finish from six yards(rhymes with SCHMEAMONN) Bruno did well but only because he was wearing a new adidas compression short which gives extra swerve to throw ins. While in the US he did allot of research on the origin of the corner flag and that is why he is reaping the rewards. The real story of the day was the massively oversized technical area(fifa will inspect this week). Lozz outstanding since handing off captaincy has won every header and held ball well I wonder if that would work for other players/captains???????(give the Egyptian the armband) All jokes aside boys a great second half spirit showed. A special mention to their number 8 who was a love child of Berbatov and Tevez christened Berbavez by Tresty. Big game this week where we will need to lift boys! Al X will send line up by telegram on Friday.

You need to be registered and logged in to our forum to post a comment.
You can register here or log in here (check the box titled 'Log me on automatically each visit' when you log in and you won't see this message again).